Chemo and Cold Sores Don't Mix!

Nice, right? And before it's through, the little one on the
right connected with the big one on the left... UGH!

So it's the end of the school year. Time to say goodbye to my little darlings. Also time to print all of the graphs I've made on them throughout the year to put in their portfolios, put together their portfolios for next year's teacher, shred all of the work that can't be sent home and doesn't go in the portfolio, check their cumulative folders and add my notes and reports, pack up everything in my room so that it can be cleaned, pack up the center of the pod so it can be cleaned, get everything signed off on and turned in so that my summer can begin. Did I mention that I still have kids to teach while I do this? Needless to say, I get a little stressed at the end of the year. And when I get stressed, I get a cold sore. Every year at this time, I get a cold sore!

This time, it started a little early because my last round of chemo was the Thursday before the last day of school. So there's 4 days of school left, and I'm only going to be there for 2 of them. ACK! So the lovely thing starts to bubble up on Wednesday. I start a counterattack with Abreva (I swear by that stuff!) and things are going like normal. On Friday, I get a little circle on the right side of my chin. It doesn't look or feel like a cold sore, so I leave it alone thinking I scratched myself. By Sunday, the thing  is taking over my face (though it was only half the size that it is in the picture... eesh!) On Thursday, I go for my normal bloodwork and my white count is way low again (0.7, which explains why this thing got so bad), so I have to see the doctor. She sees the growth on my face and prescribes Zovirax.

Let me tell you a little something about Zovirax... First off, if we hadn't met our deductible for the year back in February, I wouldn't have gotten it. It normally costs $507! So I'm thinking this stuff is going to have my face cleared up in the next day or so. Boy, was I wrong! It's a pretty thick cream, but when you apply it to your face, it turns watery and drips. Well, if you know anything about the virus that causes cold sores, you know that it's extremely contagious. So the drips cause it to spread. Now not only is it on the front of my chin where it started, but it's spreading across my chin and under my jawline! Me? NOT HAPPY! I finally get it to stop trying to take over my face, but it's not getting any better. Two and a half weeks after the first appearance is way more than I can handle, so I take matters into my own hands. I take the hottest shower I can handle and get all the crusties off, then I cover every pink part of my face with Neosporin. Basically my whole chin and under my jaw are slimed with the stuff. And guess what? It worked! It's only been a few days, but I haven't had that nasty, crusty mess or the pain that comes with it. I'm very pink, bordering on red, and I sometimes remind myself of a clown because it's all under my mouth, but I am a much happier camper than I was a few days ago.

Now I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting. PET scan next week, though, which means I'm closer to knowing what's next!

Round 8 *ding ding*

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it!

Now that I got that out, today was round 8 of 8! I am done with chemo!!! My counts were looking good, so I got the go-ahead to finish. I spoke with my oncologist beforehand about some numbness I have in my right hand. Before, I had tingling in my fingertips. Now, I have no feeling in my index and middle fingers. It makes getting my blood draw nice because I can't feel it at all, but it gets frustrating when I'm trying to type or write or pick something up and drop it because I didn't have a good grip. She said it's a normal side effect of the vincristine and since it's my last round, she didn't want to change my dosage. She said to try not to worry too much about it because it's usually temporary (phew!) She also scheduled my follow-up for my PET scan. Scan on June 26th then meeting with the oncologist and the radiological oncologist on July 3rd (just in case she suggests radiation therapy so that I can ask questions). Here's my thing, though: if by some miracle the chemo didn't make me sterile, the radiation will, so is surgery an option? Her answer: yes! She even suggested that I call and make an appointment with the gynecological oncologist who did my early testing (yes, the one with the Bieber haircut!) because he does hysterectomies. She said to make the appointment now so I don't have to wait come July. So best case scenario: my cancer's all gone and I don't have to do anything else. Worst case scenario: my cancer's mostly gone and I get a hysterectomy. Let me tell you, I'm not very upset about that. You're taking out the only parts of me that had cancer? It'll make my probability of recurrence go down? No more periods? Sign me up!

My time in the chair was pretty short today. They had me in and out by 2:30, the earliest yet! I had some really nice conversations with some of the ladies in the other chairs. We had the nurses rolling! We were talking about how our hair was starting to come back, how it made us worry that the chemo wasn't working, how one of the ladies tried false eyelashes and couldn't understand how some people did that every day, how unfair it was that I'm still shaving my legs! After they left, two more ladies came in and I got to talk with them about school because they both worked in the school system here before they started treatment. I had some really fantastic conversations with the nurses about their children and some other things. It made me realize that I'm going to miss them. I knew from the beginning how wonderful they were, but I thought I'd be so happy to be done with chemo that I wouldn't miss anything about it. I was wrong. I told them that I still had appointments every week for my CBC and that I lived close enough to visit. They weren't getting rid of me that easily!

Down for the Count

Before I start, I have to say that I have been SO lucky so far. I made it through 7 treatments with only one cold (which was no fun), but working with germy little kids all day, it could have been MUCH WORSE. Right after round 7, Chase got a stomach bug from his cousin and it was also going around school. I had 7 kids out with it. Needless to say, I couldn’t resist anymore.

I stayed after school late on Tuesday for a training (which was fantastic!) and was feeling fine. After I got home, I was feeling a little tired, but I figured that was just because I had such a long day at school. Wednesday morning, I woke up at 5 puking my brains out. Needless to say, I put in for a sub and stayed home, hoping for a 24 hour bug that would pass quickly. I slept in 2 hour increments all day, waking up to get sick before falling back asleep again. Water and juice wouldn’t even stay down. I was able to keep down a little sip of Gatorade each time I got up, but that was it.

Thursday, I woke up and was still getting sick. Called in for a sub again then took my temperature. It was 100.3 (I don’t ever get a fever!) My oncologist told me that if it ever got over 100.5 to call. Since I was close but not over, I just went back to sleep. When I woke up 2 hours later, I checked it again and it was 102.4 so I called the doctor. When I told them everything that was going on, they asked if I could come in right away. Well, right away ended up being 45 minutes later because I was getting sick again. Fun, fun! I get to the office and the first thing they do is give me a mask because they don’t want me sharing my germs with the other cancer patients. They do my weekly blood draw then I hear the nurses discussing my results. I didn’t catch much, but I did hear the word ‘critical’ more than once. Never a good sign! Then they bring me back to see the doctor (who I only see before my treatment… another not-so-good sign!) She tells me that my white count is 0.76 (3-4 is considered normal in chemo patients, hence one ‘critical’ comment), my pulse was 157 (hence another ‘critical’ comment), and that she wants me to go to the hospital. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I do NOT want to go back into the hospital. Isn’t there anything else we can do? She went and checked their stock of antibiotics, thinking that they could maybe give them to me there, as well as a potassium and magnesium infusion since those counts were ‘critically’ low as well. They didn’t have what she wanted me on, so she sent me to the hospital. As much as I hated being in there, I’m really glad that I went. I was feeling very weak and had lost 11 pounds in 2 days because of the whole getting sick thing. The first thing they did was hook me up to IV fluids (through my port… I’m not sure if I’ve ever said how glad I am that I have that!). By 7 that night, I was feeling so much better. I hadn’t thrown up in 6 hours, though my stomach was still upset. The nurses took another blood sample, and my white count had increased slightly.

On Friday, I woke up feeling like myself again. My primary care doctor and my oncologist both came and visited me. I was told that I would have to stay until my white count was over 2.5. Boo! So I spent the day in bed doing school work. I made Chris go to Disney because it was opening day of Star Wars Weekends and there were some pins that he wanted. Our original plan was to go as a family with both sets of grandparents on Friday and stay til Sunday. My hospital stay ruined that, but I wasn’t about to let him miss out on the pins if he could go! I had Game Show Network on all day, and let me tell you, I would SO win some big money if I went on a game show!

The best medicine!

Saturday, my white count was 1.85, so still on the rise. Things can never be easy, though, so my hemoglobin dropped to 7. The oncologist came in and said that she was happy with my white count, but asked me if I was feeling tired or cold. Nope! I guess those are the symptoms of a low red count. She said that a red cell transfusion could be done, but since I’m so young, they don’t want to do that if they don’t have to. I also told her that I hadn’t had my iron supplement since Tuesday, so she started me back on that. She also took me off of IV fluids since I was able to keep down food and drink, so I was able to shower. I don’t know why, but showering makes me feel so much better! I was missing Chase like crazy, so Chris’s parents brought him up to the hospital to visit me. I had to wear a mask when I was with him, but it was so totally worth it! That has to be the worst thing about being in the hospital: missing my boy. I know he is in such good hands with either of his grandparents, but that doesn’t stop me missing him. When he was ready to leave, it took a lot for me not to demand that I be allowed to leave with him! Late Saturday night, I get a phone call from Chris. Guess who has the stomach bug now? I hate that I’m not there to take care of him when he’s feeling so crummy. He tells me that he’s not going to come to the hospital because he doesn’t want me to get it again (for which I’m very thankful!) I’m also very thankful that Chase is still with Grandma and Grandpa so he won’t get the bug back!

Sunday, my white count is 3.89. I’m busting out of this joint! Major bummer, though: the doctor and the oncologist both tell me that I shouldn’t stay at home until Chris isn’t sick anymore. I finish my book while I’m waiting to be discharged (why does that always seem to take forever?!?) Mom drives me home so I can grab work clothes, my meds, and a few other essentials before I go to sleepover camp at Mom and Dad’s. I got them to watch Star Wars with me, so that was fun! I also had my dinner of choice and one of my Dad’s delicious cakes, so it wasn’t too bad (even though I missed my husband and my bed!)

On Monday, I went back to work. My principal came through my room to ‘see if it was true.’ My response: ‘Huh?’ He explained that he heard I got out of the hospital yesterday and was back at work today and he didn’t believe it. He called me ‘amazing’ more than once (which I’m not, but it was nice to hear!) He also said that I’m crazy because I told him that I would’ve been there with my IV pole if they would’ve let me. I just hate missing school, especially this time of year because I’ve got so much to do with them. I got Chase back on Monday afternoon, which made the day even better! We got his playpen and he joined in our sleepover. Dad bought him a pair of Crocs, which he insisted on wearing with his pajamas while boogying along with Dancing with the Stars.

Tuesday, I finally get the news I’m waiting for. Chris is feeling better, his fever is gone, and he’s not getting sick anymore. We’re going home!!! As much as I love my parents, I was so happy to be back in my bed, using my shower, with all of my things. Most of all, though, I was ecstatic to have my family together again! I hate when this cancer takes time away from us being together. I understand that sometimes it’s necessary, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it!

Round 7 *ding ding*

Round 7 actually starts on my favorite non-holiday day of the year: May the 4th. May the 4th be with you! (I wait all year to be able to use that!) Anyway, after 3 more rounds of chemo, my oncologist scheduled me for another CT scan to see how things were progressing. I wouldn't get my results until the following Thursday when I met with her. Well, knowing that as soon as she signs off on the paperwork, I can view it online, I snuck a peek on Monday. BIG MISTAKE! I read the report which showed that the measurements from the March scan were 6.4 x 5.9 x 5.3 cm and the measurements from the May scan were 6.3 x 5.1 x 5.4 cm. Needless to say, I freaked out a bit! I mean, if it's not working, why am I even doing it? And more importantly, if it's not working, it makes me so angry that I've been giving up all this time with Chase. And what happens now? Surgery? Radiation? Different chemo? Ugh...

Well, Thursday came and I got my finger stuck then made my way back to see the doctor. Imagine my shock when she was happy with the results! She started by pointing out that it's not growing and that it hasn't moved anywhere else. Then she tells me that the measurement isn't the size of the tumor, it's the size of my uterus. Apparently, the first and last numbers are pretty close to normal and the middle one is the one that shrank the most, so she felt that was a positive. She also reminded me that I have fibroid tumors which can also be causing the abnormal middle measurement. She recommended another PET scan (which won't happen until June because insurance only covers one every three months... GRR!) She said that will give us a much clearer understanding of what's going on because it actually measures the cancer cells and their activity. When I asked her what we'd do if the PET scan showed that the chemo didn't work, she said she'd rather not worry about that unless it becomes an issue. Yet another big relief! And she kept May 31st as my last chemo treatment, so YAY for that!!! The scan also showed that I have hydronephrosis in my left kidney. Basically, my kidney isn't draining the way it should. When she brought that up, I told her my three months was almost up for my next stent exchange. Really looking forward to that...

Chemo went well. Same old, same old (which I am totally NOT complaining about!)

Day after, I slept til 8, cleaned out my closet (top to bottom) and all of my drawers, and spent time trying to ward off my son (which you all know how much I hate!) It was especially hard today because he gave me my Mother's Day present early. He and Chris had been looking at some things online and he got really excited about this pair of Mickey earrings and a matching necklace. Chris said the ones he picked out were red, but he got the blue ones because it's Chase's birthstone. I LOVE THEM!!! And Chase was so proud! He brought me the box, let me open it, and kept pointing at them and going "oooooh!" Then when I took them out, he took the earrings and held them up to his ear, then mine, then his, then mine. He also showed me where the necklace goes. He about breaks my heart, though, when he tries to give me a kiss and I have to tell him no. So today, we blew kisses to each other instead. He seemed pretty happy with that! Only 18 more hours until I can get my hands on him and smooch him to pieces!

Got my shot at 3 and that really slowed me down, as usual. Was able to run to the store, make dinner, and put away the dishes before the ache set in. Took some Tylenol and got good and comfy on the couch, which really makes a difference! Chris even got out the heating pad and hooked it up on my side of the bed, just in case I need it during the night. Sometimes I really don't know how I got so lucky!

Round 6 *ding ding*

Another uneventful round... yippee! And only two more to go, so hooray for that, too!

I did meet with the doctor before my treatment and she's scheduled another CT scan on May 4th, so we'll have even more information about how it's responding soon.

I am most definitely over the 48 hour no-touch thing, though. Chase doesn't understand, so he climbs up on the couch next to me, tries to snuggle and kiss me, and I have to have Chris come take him away. It's BY FAR the worst thing about this whole situation. It'll be over soon, though, and that's what I keep reminding myself.

Round 5 *ding ding*

Round 5 can be summed up in two words: uneventful and over! I met with the doctor, she was pleased that I was feeling better and had a voice again. My counts were good, so I got hooked up. The nurses have me down to a routine now, so it's pretty easy. I was actually out by 3:15 today, which is the earliest I've ever been finished! In all, I'm feeling pretty good. Have to go back for my shot tomorrow, which changes things a bit, but I'm feeling like I'm getting much closer to the end.

I did have a nice conversation with one of the nurses about my hair situation. See, the hair on my head is growing. Not a lot, but it's prickly and there's enough that it sticks to my scarf or hat, so I've taken to just going bald. It honestly doesn't bother me the way I thought it would, but I'm careful to cover it if I'm going to be in the sun long. I really don't want to burn my dome! But I was also telling her that I still have to shave my legs, and she was totally with me about how unfair that is! I mean, that's supposed to be one of the few perks of chemo, right? Me and my body need to have a serious talk...

And Mom reminded me that I never posted the results of my PET scan! The first scan showed that the cells were metabolizing at a rate of 15-19 (what, I don't know) and the second scan showed that the metabolic rate dropped to 5. YAY! More good news showing that things are working. The only thing that I'm not thrilled about is a small nodule on my thyroid that wasn't present on the first scan. They seem to think it's a goiter, but my oncologist ordered some blood tests just to be on the safe side. She's not too concerned about it, so I'm going to try not to be, either.

Get Down with the Sickness

(I stole a page from Chrissy's book and used a song title for my post title... it's too fun not to!)

They warned me before I started treatments that it would be much harder to fight off a cold and they weren't kidding! I started feeling sick on St. Patrick's Day. Like sick sick. The week leading up to that, I was certain it was just allergies. Then we take Chase to get his hair cut, go out to breakfast, and by the time we get home, I've got a slight fever and my throat is killing me. So Chase and I kick back and have a lazy day of watching classic Disney movies (read: Mommy puts on the movies and falls asleep on the couch while he destroys the living room! It was pretty funny to watch him dancing to the songs from the Jungle Book, though.) By Tuesday, my voice is gone. Thursday morning comes and I'm still feeling awful (which is very unusual for me; usually 3 days, 5 tops, and I'm back to myself) so I call the doctor. They have me come in early for my bloodwork so that I can see the doctor. She tells me my throat is very inflamed but there aren't any signs of strep (yay!) and prescribes a Z-pack. Now, I've heard all about these Z-packs from friends and they're supposed to be A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! So I'm thinking this thing'll be gone by Saturday, Sunday at the very latest. Oh, guess who was wrong again?!? I literally had NO voice. To talk, I had to whisper and it was extremely painful. I had to call out from work on Monday, which I just hate doing, especially knowing that I'm going to be out Thursday and Friday for treatment. I was not missing Tuesday because we were going on a field trip to the Tarpon Springs Aquarium, so I had to whisper my instructions to my chaperones. When I woke up today, I just knew that my voice was back! I could feel the huge lump that had been in my throat was gone and the scratchiness was down to a minimum. I would've sang, but didn't want to wake up Chase! But it took 2 weeks to kick that cold. I do not want to go through that again, so guess who's going to be the hand-washing police at school? This lady right here!